So I'm working on a lot of stuff. I'm in busy bee mode. A LOT of stuff has been going on since I last updated this blog.
First,
I made the very emotional decision to quit my job. I've learned a LOT about myself in the two years that I was with my school, and I've grown incredibly. But in the end, I was just stressed beyond my limits. Last year was an incredibly trying year for me. My nerves were completely shot by the end of the year, and I simply couldn't see myself going through it for a third year. Being a lead teacher was WORLDS away from being an assistant teacher, and I don't feel that I had the support that I needed to really feel good about things most of the year. Most of my babies can read and write well though, so I'm happy about that. But getting them to that point despite all the pressure I was under took *everything* out of me. It is very possible that I will come back to teaching after some time has passed and I've done other things. But I'm in an "explore my other options" mode.
Second,
I'm finishing up my Master's Defense. In about a week, I'll have everything done and ready to be submitted so that I can have my degree in Early Childhood Education. Despite my career moves, I feel that it's a very valuable thing to have. It's certainly something that I've worked HARD on for the past two years. I thought I was doing a terrible job with my Master's Defense, too, but I was actually one of four teachers selected to present some of my findings to the entire class of 2010 a few weeks ago. The people who run the program felt that I illuminated some really interesting and research-able links between writing ability and sight word knowledge. I was VERY NERVOUS presenting but leave it to teachers to give you nothing but praise. My colleagues were incredibly supportive :)
Third,
I've been vision boarding. Also known as posting images and words that connect to my ideal life and career on a poster. I used brown paper bags cut open for the project. It's helping to focus and motivate me as I contemplate my next steps.
Fourth,
I've just been trying to become a more organized, balanced, mindful, thoughtful and conscientious person. Some of this has meant being more in tune with my spirituality and literally asking my ancestors for strength and support. I've set up a boveda (ancestral altar) in my house...I will create a blog entry pretty soon about how to create one. Some of this has meant getting really serious about my space/time and how I interact with and respect it. I've spent this year and the past few weeks literally training and re-training myself to pick up after myself, put things in their proper places, keep my kitchen orderly, use my planner, etc. I'm DEFINITELY still in training...old habits really become part of you over time, so shedding them is especially hard. But I know that high level organization is NECESSARY for the next phase of my life. Honestly, I think learning about organization has been one of the spiritual lessons of teaching in the environment that I did.
Meanwhile...it's about to be 4 am. I really need to go to bed because I have to wash clothes and get a lot of work done tomorrow. Just wanted to update this thing because it has been a whilllle...
:)
-Sia
2 comments:
Congratulations on the job front. Very brave. Very inspiring. A little sad, too, I feel, but that's OK.
You should post a photo of your vision board.
I'm still struggling with organization. I still feel more comfortable when my surroundings are messy. Why do you feel it's necessary to change that for your next phase?
Thanks for the congrats...def a bit scary. But I've been practicing Mindfulness Meditation in an attempt to be present with my reality instead of lost in my fears. I will put pics of the vision board up as soon as my camera decides to work! :)
Organization DID NOT come natural to me at all. Teaching with a SUPER organized lead my first year really got my ass into shape--I really admired her ability to just get stuff DONE and have them easily accessible, and with the demands of teaching, I knew I was going to have to bring some of that into my life.
As I taught with her and began incorporating some of her organization techniques into my personal life, I realized over time that a cluttered space truly reflected a cluttered mind for me. And actually it caused me to be extremely distracted and even a bit depressed. I also realized that whenever I visited the homes of people I admire who are a bit older than I, their spaces are ALWAYS organized. And I typically admire them for their serenity, their peacefulness.
Over these past couple of years, I've almost grown to believe that organization is an initiation into adulthood...it reflects a focused and disciplined mind. And I just have this *feeling* that as a professional, I will need to bring the best of what I've learned about organization into the next phase of my life. And I'm FAR from perfect...but I've definitely grown. I know it's not something you do once and forget about...it's ongoing discipline. Just tryna get my Feng Shui on :)
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