Maybe when I'm 30

I'll have a baby. With a real family. With a partner in some real eco-friendly house, and we'll live very unconventionally. Maybe we'll be unschoolers, or people who combine unschooling with traditional schooling. Right now, I view myself as solitary person, because that's what I am. So presently, it's kind of weird that I've begun imagining my future self as part of a unit of my own creation. But the older I get, the more I envision. The less weird it becomes. It's kind of scary. But I really do see myself with children nowadays, even if I do still go blank on the process of birthing those children into existence. The whole releasing a person from my uterus thing- still pretty freaky to my young mind.

Committed relationships. Those are scary. It's so interesting how there are soooo many people in the world, but we're supposed to identify one to spend the rest (or a looong part) of our lives with, especially when there are children involved. And this is coming from someone who knows that she could have nothing but monogamy. (And the whole bisexual thing adds layers to all the scariness.)

I don't expect my real committed relationships to come until I'm about 25, however. At 25, that's when the human brain has reached its point of maximum development. That's when we are full adults. That's when I'll know that I fully understand myself, my philosophies on life, what I expect from a partner, and how I want to make an imprint on the world. I definitely won't be having any babies before this point. That'd be so unfair to those babies. I know I have way too much growing as an individual before I can fully give to another.

In the meantime, the relationships that I do create are important. They're heartfelt, and they're joyous (most times), and I always try to be with someone that I love or could grow to love, without focusing on how long they might last. Nowadays I go into them knowing that I'm not fully "set," and understanding that right now, I don't have to be. I know that I grow from every situation I encounter.